Life Lesson #6

I am only happy when I'm completely miserable. This will not change. I am who I am.

Life Lesson #5: It's not what you can do that makes you who you are, it's discretion.

I just made a twitter. Maybe it'll solve the issue of posting when I'm not near a computer, which is usually when I want to write something down or post something.

Anyone else use it? What do you think of it?

Has anyone bought Guitar Hero: World Tour? If yes, how is it? How do the drums hold up?

I'm very interested in learning more about it before I buy it. :D

For anyone here during the weekend, we all know what a fucking amazing time was had by everyone.

If anyone did NOT have an amazing time, let me know.

Second of all, what a whirr of emotion.

Third of all, if you haven't heard Reflection by Tool, listen to it right now by whatever means necessary.


I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole,
Defeated, I concede and move closer
I may find comfort here.
I may find peace within the emptiness,
How pitiful.

It's calling me...

And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret, my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me
The source is bright and endless
She resusitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting

And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't wanna stay down here surving my narcissism
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away.

So crucify the ego, before it's far too late
And leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable
So let the light touch you and let the words spill through
Just let them pass right through bringing out our hope and reason
Before we pine away.

I went to see Speed Racer in the Rochester IMAX today. You may not believe me, but I'm not a fan of the anime and I absolutely loved this movie. I recommend everyone see it, seriously. It's is absolutely fantastic.

I thought that maybe over time, I'd be able to feel like I exist again. Independently.

I'd like to be more than a facade of appearances and reactions. My head is spinning, and it's like what I've tried to become keeps dying, every single day.

Simply riding the wave was the only option for a while; a new outlook leads to new thoughts.

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I've switched jobs, and become relatively monetarily secure. However, with the change of jobs comes a stark realization that nothing has changed at all.


Five and a half years now, to the day, and I thought I could get away from being a dissolved piece of shit. Why do I keep clinging to what I now know to be insane illusions of grandeur? I am a fucking moron. I'm not ignorant. I am gone.

I finally got my license. =D

I went to NYC and took 2nd in the "National DDR Tournament" at Digital Life. Played the best DDR I've ever played in my life, most of the days. =D $1500 prize for 2nd, and I was ahead by a bit when I lost the last song. =( Good trip, great people, and even better times ahead, I'm sure.

Anyone want to go play DDR this Friday up in Fulton on SuperNova? Let me know, I'm taking the car up. Seats SEVEN at most.

New Year's Resolution, if there is such a thing.

Total honesty.

Through the course of your existence, in pursuing the definition of your existence and existence itself, you'll want to try to escape what it means to be human, you'll want to achieve something more than a inside-out view on the world. You'll want to understand the global nature of things, as opposed to the nature of things as they deal with you. But when you reach that point, you will have no idea as to where to progress.

Life Lesson #4: Once you've seen something, it can't be unseen.


I've never felt like this before, but I'm questioning if I want to continue pursuing this meaning. I think the running's caught up with me.

Rest in peace, Captain Jack.

http://www.weather.com/maps/news/atlstorm18/projectedpath_large.html


Just wow.

Today, September 10th, is like the best day Syracuse has ever had. Sunny, temperature is perfect, a little breeze, everyone seems friendly today. It's AMAZING

Otakon

Life for me is good.

At this point, I have a job that's decent enough to sustain everything I would need, and I thoroughly enjoy just about every second that I'm there. I'm going to college in Spring '06. I'm self-confident in just about every respect, more so than I've ever been before. I wake up and I feel good. I wake up and I do what I want to do at any given point. I feel safe and resolute. My intelligence has returned, and I can once again control it when need be. I have an incredible roommate, an amazing group of friends, and the will to expand my mind and horizons. I have a car, giving me access to actually doing whatever I want to do on my schedule. I almost never feel sick, save a random day of allergies.

I have almost everything I want for right now.

Well, I have a car now. On the bad side, I don't have a license to drive it.

I need people over 21 willing to teach me to drive. I mean, I can do it, I'm just not entirely confident. I need peeps who are licensed to sit in the car with me while I drive it around. I'm pretty safe, so you won't get hurt.. much. Anyone down with this? I got a few people willing to help already, but any help is good help.

Thanks. =D